where the benefits might not be necessary

 I over and over again come to the consciousness that we consider ourselves helpful. That we feel sympathy and aim to make things better for those we care for. But there is another side to it. Speaking from my own experience the help I got has been when I didn’t ask for it.  When I didn’t expect our felt I needed the help many hands lifted me up and showed me the higher greatness.

We feel the need to help when someone opens their heart, we sense we can advice them to take better decisions, to become greater or to achieve a goal.  We then walk away with the feeling we helped, guided and bettered our karma.

But now I question it. Is it because of that pure light satisfaction we help? Do we help because we feel better by it? What if we had to sacrifice that very sensation we get from helping, would we still help?

Because when I reflect about it, a man begging for money makes us feel offended, when the sales assistant actively ask you for a donation with your purchase you feel forced, like the decision to help is not your own, even if it is. And often we choose not to. Too often we walk away defending our actions as fair because it made us uncomfortable.

When someone begs for your help you feel demanded, unfairly treated because that person has self-centred themselves and not you.

I don’t know many people sacrificing their own satisfaction of helping to the extent to save someone. We always feel like we have to be the one dragging up someone from the cliff while we are stable on our feet by chains that prevent us from falling down.

It goes with Darwin’s theory that the strongest survives. We don’t want to be thrown weakness in our aura, we reject the needy and we still portrait ourselves as heroes. Those times however we have helped when someone asked for it we have replaced the feeling of being a hero to be in misery. We blame those who asked us that they now forced us into their weak position.

We haven’t yet learned to give without expecting it back, because if we had asking for help would not beat the pride of ours, it would not communicate our weaknesses.

I feel the world we live in now don’t leave us much choice. We need to be self-centred to survive; we need to hide our needs to not be outvoted of evolution.

Or can we change? The first change comes from within, I aim to help even when it is formulated directly as close to a demand it can get. Because in this world when someone ask for help it is in their most desperate place, when there is no other way out. If I know that, I go against my nature if I say no. I take the risk to be used rather than the risk to not been brave enough to sacrifice. And that’s why I ask you now

If we made the sun happy without expecting it to shine would it still shine?

My answer is that we don’t know, and that will have to remain the beauty of our actions. A step to the unknown where the benefits might not be necessary and only the action in that instant will be meaningful.