desire to discover

What we miss in life nowadays is mystery. Most things we can Google the rest we find on Facebook. Our way to connect is not only a blessing it is also a curse. We don’t have to wait for a Sunday to go shopping, we click it home. We don’t need to step outside to discover the knowledge we need today. We don’t need to walk through a library filled with old books to have a good read, we already know what we need and we can read it online. We don’t even have to lift our arm to flick through a bunch of photos thoughtfully placed to match the different occasions in our lives, we have Instagram. I don’t even need to speak to put my opinions and thoughts out loud, I have a blog.

Our desire to discover the world as it is has changed to something else, our adventures is losing its charm. Our day to day life is a screen bombarding us with information we learned to deal with. Speed is the word to define us. We live faster to make time go faster and the fact is also we barely appreciate the time. 

I want us to remember the traditional ways and sometimes still make use of them. We should bring mystery to our lives again. Don’t google the guy/girl you like, don’t poke them on facebook, enjoy the unawareness, find the beauty in a library filled with stories, make an occasion of looking through a photo-album and make that walk to the shopping mall a day of adventures. Don’t sit your life away even if facebook see themselves as useful as chairs. We don’t want to sit, we want to live, we want to walk, run and jump when we are happy not change our status. We want to at least call our friends on their birthdays not write on their walls. We want to design our own invitations. I am not against it, I use it very frequently but I want to keep the small things in life that makes waiting fun. I want to keep the feeling of desire to discover, I want to chase my dream not getting it thrown at me. 

If you had nothing to lose

Imagine if you had nothing to lose or knew your life would end within the next month... Wouldn’t the choices you made from that moment be braver, dangerous and much more spontaneous?  

Some people make immoral choices because they feel they lost everything important, they see no point to live a limited life and some move on to commit crimes or long-term self-destruction with drugs and alcohol as their only companion.

Yesterday it hit me that we should turn it around. We all should stop being frightened of losing the skeleton of our values and beliefs.  Because the main cores that restrict us are dignity, culture, society norms and how we were brought up. Why do people tend to get more outrageous when they consume alcohol? Because our consequence thinking gets pretentious and less significant.

I’m not saying we should now rob banks and kill each other but we should act like we were limitless. I think as much as the man who has nothing to lose is the most dangerous one also the person without limits is the most powerful one.

I’m learning each day to fight the graved in obstacles of how to live my life, I slowly allow myself to think into directions that would be reflected childish and completely unrealistic. I start to question each of my believes by destructing it to the point where I tell myself this is not an opinion I created from experience, this is something I was told.

Judging in certain ways, attitudes to people and the way of understanding the world are all opinions that lived through generations. I would like to be reborn on a grown-up bases and see everything freshly. This might sound like a journey backwards but I guess that is what I am doing by breaking my head, my heart and my soul free from opinion-chains of a past that is not even lived by me. 

Depth of oceans

Every now and then we break down, we self-destruct because we lost control.

I had it last week, perhaps for the last one and half week. I lost the mechanism of my procedures and sacked it all together. But I detained to the small details of my days to not be bottomless hooked in the depth of ocean.

Slowly I felt like my inner shine was less marvellous and I felt every day tougher to get back on track. There were some flashes that made me consider myself being in control again but I was not really there. Yesterday it really felt like a moment where I wanted to feel sorry about my stomach pain and the disability to do my work out or keep a clean diet. 

I found myself WAITING for the stomach pain to disappear instead of work through it. I heard my thoughts saying “well you cannot do much about stomach pain” and this morning I woke up with the same shit mood as the last few mornings..

BUT because I analyse every inch of my dissatisfaction I realised it wasn’t about stomach pain, it was about the promise I made to myself to clean my room and had been pushing away for a week. As simple as it sounds this was really the case. , so I did it, I took my ass out from bed and cleaned my room. And suddenly the stomach pain was gone and I decided to do my work out. And now here I am, I feel strong and in control. I’m back in my body mentally and physically.

I am a believer in details of details. We say that the small things matters to make us happy, but it also work the other way around. Mostly the bigger part of life is fine but it is easier to blame it on the society and surrounding rather than an untidy room.

The feeling of guilt is what grow a feeling of something being wrong and the more we let it grow the less we are likely to know where the feeling came from. We have to get better to listen to ourselves, dear to take action and not to blame guilt away.

 We have to be honest to ourselves, to see beyond the drama that is created and laugh to the simple conclusion of the misery. 

Just to prove my theory I took a picture of myself before I started cleaning and one now; same day, same outfit, same person but still so different.  

INNERSHINE MATTERS!:)

The rush & Pursuit

Life is not destined to get through, life is about the pursuit, the rush and most essential, the path. I recognize how we frequently set our life goals so distant in the future that we overlook what we have in our hands now. If you are reading this you have time, you have a computer and a basic awareness to get through the world of social network. You can read, you can write and you maybe even can understand. You have memories you can relate my thoughts to, you also have big goals and dreams you want to achieve. A mind that is yours and a life you can change if you wanted to.

What do we aim for? Money? Happiness? Time? Safety? Love? All of it? Why do we get bored? How can we let that happen? I often remember when I told my mum I was bored she gave me a speech about that life is not about doing things to make time go faster is about doing as much as you can and wish time could go slower. It should be like a luxury chocolate bar, something you want to eat fast but still enjoy as much as possible, because when its gone you can feel the bitter sweetness on your tongue, like a past so close you almost could grab it.

I have my days when I can watch my red carpet and wish to be somewhere else but then I know I chose this and if I would really want to go I would have left. I’m not scared to let go of safety, or break commitments I don’t want to commit to. I’ve learned to separate actual thoughts from hormones and sudden dissatisfaction caused of too many hours of sleep.

 Make sure when you cannot chew your food anymore that you still can show the world a hell of a toothless smile! Then you have a story, your story. 

-Yaya, 2012 

Because I am me.

For a long while I thought finding me was a task to take on by my own with my mind as my only tool. But people see you more than you see yourself. They you see you when you smile, they see you in moments you don’t know you are being watched and they can catch those details of joy in your eyes that you won’t notice in a mirror. The more right people I surrounded myself with the more I started to see myself through their eyes and in that way I built a very high knowledge of who I am.

To have the full control of who you is not easy, every word that are spoken from your mouth, every decision you do and every direction you may take will be your own without going through a filter of an image. Because you are an original.

Update as promised

Shoho!

Just wanted to say I posted an update about the Insanity workout, so check out if you are interested. I'm getting my ass back to study som contemporary issues in Marketing. Contemporary is such a hard word to even think about saying 5 times. Try it! Well I guess that is the disadvantage of not being a native english speaker. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aypWfRcXyhU&feature=plcp

Doors of minds

Past, presence and future. It is all labels on times of our lives. Some people tell you to let go of the past, some tell you to let go of the presence and you often hear to let go of your future plans. What I think it is about are doors. Some doors are open some are closed, some are locked and some don’t even have key hole. But just the fact that the door is there shows the existent of whats behind it.

For every experience, thought, dream you create a door, if you open it, walk through it or even lock it to throw away the key is up to you. You can close the way through the door, but the door will remain and you should accept it.

Don’t let go, close the door, give it a nice colour and let it be a memory in your life.

Today I decided to close some doors; I made them green and blue. Its magic doors but they are not ready to be opened yet J

About something else! Insanity is going very well! Update every week so video on Tuesday;)